snapshot no.1408

"We survived all the thursdays in the term!!"
lucas said sth liddat when the last lesson ended today...
come to think of it...
time really flies...it sounds kinda cliche...
but it's sadly true...
i've already spent 5 months here in mjc...
went thru quite abit...
the 1st 3 months in 04S305 where every day was always filled with fun and laughter...
especially when weemeng was around...
and the rest of the ppl bonded v well with the dhs ppl...
04S305 very soon became a fun-loving and united class...
den after the 1st 3 months in a new class, 04S304...
separated from jon and eugene, my classmates of 2yrs and 3 months...
nevertheless, amin and chileed were still in the same class as me...
it took me quite some time to adapt to the new class...
but when u get to noe everybody, it doesn't seem dat bad anymore...
there were the vs guys, the 3 retainees who were full of jokes and every other individual was pretty nice ppl as well...

somehow, i still feel dat something's missing in my life...
an emptiness i feel deep inside...
no, the problem doesn't lie in the school or my friends...
it's juz me...
i juz can't seem to be happy in wadever i do...
every morning i wake up i dread the day ahead...
i dread the boring lectures and tutorials...
looking forward only to recess, lunchbreak and dismissal...
and even so, i get frusrated easily by people who can't stop being irritating...
but of coz i dun show it...
actually nth's wrong with dat particular someone or sth...
as i've said before...
the fault lies in me...
i miss my dhs friends way too much...
really feeling very alone here in mj...
juz yest when i went to watch the vj-sajc soccer final...
i felt warmth when i meet my friends again...
espcially my closer friends...
and i felt like my old self again...
like i've returned to where i really wanna be...
vj's the jc where every dunmanian is expected to go...
why didn't i work hard enough...

saw three of my primary school classmates lately...
keith tan at vj funfair...
deon toh at the mj-sajc soccer semi-final...
nicolas ngern at vj choir concert and vj-sajc soccer final...
but they didnt recognise me anymore...
keith and deon were the two guys in my class who went to vs...
while nicholas continued on at maris stella high school...
guess where are they now?
keith and nicolas at vj, deon at sajc...
oh well, if dat's the case...
i can't imagine where the 1/3 of my class who went to ri are now...
rjc? hcjc? most probably...
and wads ironic is dat i can still vaguely remember how keith looked up to me when i got into dhs...
he said sth like, "Wahh..."
maybe i shouldn't have appealed into dunman high 4yrs ago and go to vs instead...
budden again, i wun meet all my wonderful friends if i did so...
life's like this...u can never get the best of everything...

is it true dat people's feelings will inevitably change when they dun get to see each other dat often anymore?
say maybe when they go to different jcs...
i guess in my case it's a very good example...
but put dat aside, i learnt from zixuan last night dat marc broke up with zirui...
coz well, he's in vj and she's in tj...
and their personal commitments are another factor...no time anymore...
sighh...i feel sad for him...
really...i mean, it's a more than 2yrs relationship lor...
abit wasted in my opinion...
life, it goes on and on...
without waiting for anyone...

i miss everybody, and above all i miss her so so much...
and all the times we used to share...
but everything between us has changed now...
and nothing's quite the same anymore...
time to move on andy...
whether i like it or not...

the night is cold tonight...
and so is my heart...


If only i could start all over again...
I'd love you with all my heart right from the beginning...

If only...

posted by ANDY NG @ 9:54 PM